The Aftermath

Only families of victims of crime really can understand the misery that compounds the grief journey that our family was propelled on that evening.  We walked and we talked, but in the end all I wanted to do was to get in bed and never get out.  That wasn't an option.  Jim and I went to Nassau County Coronor's Office to identify Matt.  He was wrapped in plastic and looked asleep, except for the scrapes on his face.  This was unfortunately the second time we had done something like this.  Eight years earlier, Matt's older brother Mike, had died suddenly.  This is a family's worst nightmare - squared.  Once we had identified Matt, the press was at our home and Chris did a wonderful job of talking to the press.  The funeral was easy to arrange.  Jim had kept the program from Mike's funeral.  It had been a beautiful service, so we asked that the format be followed  Msgr. MacDonald agreed to say the mass for Matt, although he was no longer in our parish.  He adlibbed a bit, but then he was there to comfort Matt when Mike died.  I will never forget him.

We were blessed by family and friends who came from all over to help us through the worst experience of my life.  Matt had not died of natural causes.  Matt had been murdered.  There were something over 450 people who signed the book at the funeral home and I know not everyone was able to find the book to sign.  Two of Matt's best friends spoke at his wake.  They were forced to be brave beyond their years.

Matt would have been so impressed with the police escort from the funeral home, to the church and to the cemetery.  We went from the cemetery to the Huntingotn Hilton with friends and family to eat and talk.  Then people began to leave and return to their own lives, as they must,  and we were to begin life, adjusting to a new normal.  I know not how we got through that week.  It is hard enough now.